I don’t struggle with the metrics so much but I struggle with the cumulative effects of writing on public during incredibly tumultuous times. I love giving myself permission to change and pivot and take care of myself first. Thank you for this series!
Nov 28, 2023·edited Nov 28, 2023Liked by Amanda B. Hinton
I’ve been sending a lot of people your recent interview about trauma, activism, and emotional resilience. I loved it so much and think it’s tremendously important and am grateful for your work and the self-care that makes it possible. 🧡
This is vital. I write about politics (among other things,) and I have an article I've had to set aside for a while, because it's just too much for me right now.
What sorts of cumulative effects? Do you mean, like, trolls and unhelpful comments? Or more like the collective stress of everyday life combined with writing about it creates something heavier, harder to manage?
Both! The amount of pushback and vitriol continues to grow (and compound!) and in both religious and activist spaces there is a lot of pressure to KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT because “the work” is so vital and I slowly learned to override my own nervous system. Plus also I am a very earnest writer and kept getting pummeled by bad faith folks who just wanted to argue/criticize me in order to shut me down or make themselves feel better.
That "keep going no matter what" energy shows up in a lot of spaces and it's toxic. Such a damaging message, and I can't help but think it was also used in evangelical spaces to keep congregants from noticing shady shit going on on the side. Sigh. I'm sorry you experience this in an ongoing way. :/ I remember years ago reading something where the basic gist was, "Your body's only job is to be on your side," and it was a huge light bulb moment. Her only allegiance is to ME? And not the crowds, the powerful people, the rich people, the spiritual people? So I can TRUST all the spidey senses and inputs she's gathering? It was a staggering revelation, and made me think this is why evangelical circles don't like women doing yoga or having body empowerment—they might feel and trust their pain inside church and get tf out!
Thank you for saying all of these things and saying them so well! Years ago, I read an interview with Roxane Gay in Creative Nonfiction magazine. It was right after she became very well-known as a writer. She described how much work she does speaking, teaching, and writing, and said something in it about how (paraphrasing), no, writing didn’t give her much joy anymore. Part of it was how much and how hard she was working.
This was when I was still on Facebook and involved in Binders Full of Women Writers, which I have to say was tremendously supportive at the time (it might still be but I deleted my FB account in 2017). But I also saw increasing amounts of hustle for tiny amounts of pay, and often none at all.
When I read that from Gay it was really sobering because I’d been writing just long enough to know how little it paid. And I thought: it doesn’t pay enough, and probably will never pay enough, to make it worth losing the joy of it. That completely changed whatever writing goals I thought I had. It’s why I kept copy editing as my other job: nothing I could make from writing would ever be worth having to hustle so much that the joy was gone.
There's a lot of implied servitude for authors who are plucked from the crowd to be traditionally published. Like we should say thank you for helping them make money, somehow.
I've read enough stories of writers who were worked to death when their first book was published to know that I don't have what it takes to appease the demands of any publisher. Maybe if I have enough clout one day, a publisher would be willing to work with the bandwidth I have to offer, but I'm not holding my breath. When I still had active social media accounts, I did always enjoy when Anne Lamott would post something and call her publisher a "rascally rabbit." I feel like she keeps the relationship boundaries clear, which is such a gift!
Were you run ragged when your book was published? Did knowing Roxane Gay's experience help prepare you or help you have better boundaries with the publisher's requests?
These are all such great questions and, hm, a great idea for a roundtable conversation for you!
One of my mentors is a longtime internationally bestselling author. He and his publisher parted ways a couple books ago for exactly this reason. “Bestselling” doesn’t mean what most people think it does, and certainly not always what publishers have come to demand.
I probably would have been run ragged if I’d had the kinds of connections and platforms to do it. I believed in that book—still do!—and would have done whatever I could to promote it. I worked *very* hard at all the things authors are expected to these days, but I didn’t have the kinds of connections to kick it all up another tier. One of my good friends published her first book this year and truly has been run ragged. It’s been awful to see her publisher’s expectations combined with their complete lack of support.
My book also got caught up in industry consolidation. It was published by Da Capo Press, which was acquired by Hachette somewhere during my writing. And then just before it went to print, my entire PR and marketing team—who really seemed to understand what I was trying to do and how to market it—was laid off. The new team was good, truly, but I never felt like they “got” it enough to sell it well. And marketing is not my experise!
Also, “implied servitude” is 100%. Luke O’Neill, who writes Welcome to Hell World on Ghost, has written about this recently. Not about book publishers, but about what magazine and newspaper publishers can expect of freelancers.
“And I thought: it doesn’t pay enough, and probably will never pay enough, to make it worth losing the joy of it. That completely changed whatever writing goals I thought I had.”
Ooh, thanks for sharing this perspective. I think this is something that will stay with me
Glad to share! And I hope it doesn’t sound pessimistic. I know a lot of people are making decent money on Substack in particular right now, and I definitely am making more than I thought I would here. But that can always change and keeping the joy at the center is a way for me to keep my compass pointing to that truth north. I only glance at subscriber numbers, never look at how many churn in or out, and write what feels most true to me in the best possible way I can.
Lol I sometimes forget I have such a pessimistic soul that I can only find encouragement in “pessimistic” comments--I actually found it genuinely encouraging 😂 (seriously though, I was recently trying to break up my writing about fear and death and loneliness with something “lighter,” and the only idea I came up with was to write about Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower.” Then I was like ok nevermind).
OMG Parable is my go-to when I have a panic about climate change and societal collapse. 🫠
There is a type of brain, often trauma-brain though I’m making no assumptions here, that has been found to relax *more* when considering worst-case scenarios. I’m definitely one of those.
I relate to this! When I needed lots and lots of space from marketing my work, I would dip my toe into the waters of sharing my writing and then jump right out! But I ultimately found these efforts sent the wrong message to me about the merit of what I was writing. I needed to share my writing in a small, consistent, direct way for two or three months in order to really get a sense of what was happening with my writing once it was handed over to readers. Too sporadic and the "data" really couldn't inform me. Is there one small thing you could do in your essays to market or measure what's working/resounding with your readers?
I love how you generate conversations with your questions in the comments. That’s a “one small thing” a lot of us could learn from! It’s both inviting and generous.
I post shorter pieces on a regular basis and work on engagement in the comments. I'm seeing fairly steady organic growth which is wonderful and helpful. Next year I have plans to try out some different types of essays and see where that goes.
I struggle with my posts-in-progress. My most important metric is whether i feel good about what I'm writing. That's become the main if not the only source of my writing-related stress.
Trying to get one post ahead, but it's a struggle.
This is a wonderful reminder! I have trouble thinking about the joy in writing when I’m stalled on a post, but when I find my groove with a piece and love the writing process, I always close that work thinking “my job is to make it always feel like this.” Now to figuring out how on earth to do that... 😅
This is a tough area. I'm a data guy, so it's easy to become metrics obsessed. Fortunately, a lifetime in data has taught me to see the limitations in any metric and that helps be step back from the brink.
For example, yesterday was not a good day. I put a post up which picked up a couple of comments, but no new subscribers. I'd have done a better job of being OK with that if I hadn't three away from a round number! And then of course I was mad at myself for obsessing over an artifact of our numbering system. I should know better!
Today is a good day. I picked up the three subscribers, yes, and, much more importantly, two of them engaged with the piece and write about similar issues. That does indeed recenter me. It reminds me why I'm here, which is to get my ideas into the world, build community, and learn from others with similar interests. So very much a "felt sense of satisfaction" day.
It’s a never-ending struggle, isn’t it? I love what you do on your Substack. You often have research I haven’t seen, and frequently shift my perspective on issues of the commons and pollution and commodity in ways that I didn’t expect.
Thank you, Nia, and right back at you. The conversations we have, often in other people's comment sections (sorry Amanda, you're the host today!) are part of what I love most about this platform, and about choosing writing as a way to put myself out there.
Yeah, well. I have no other social media so Substack is my online coffee shop! And like my real-life coffee shop, I end up having a lot of different conversations when running into friends having meetings or working at other tables. 🤗
Amanda - really enjoying this series so thank you first of all. Personally I turned off a lot of the subscriber notifications because it was a lot of noise for me. I don't necessarily want to write just to get an audience because then I feel it isn't genuine. I am speaking solely about my personal experience, not questioning anyone else's ideas of how they write or run a business. I try not to look at my subscriber count except maybe once a week. But I love the idea of reviewing those names and being grateful for them. I don't recall where I saw it but something I read recently talked about how it is ok to lose some subscribers. You don't have to write for everyone. And not everyone will love what you write. That is perfectly ok. Finding your core audience and resonating with them will result in healthy growth and with a group more likely to engage with your content. I am brand new here so I am still very much in the learning phase. I have a lot of growing to do as a writer but I am invested in the process and in the community of people. Keep writing and sharing. I believe the readers will follow.
I can't quite make myself care about the metrics, or not enough to have it change my writing behavior, and I feel a little guilty about it most of the time. Because it feels like it speaks to my general lack of "ambition." Like, if I really believed in what I was doing then I would be willing to do anything and everything to make my audience grow. But the reality is that my ambition is primarily to write well, to the best of my ability, and to have other writers appreciate my work. Neither of those things has anything to do with metrics, so perhaps it doesn't matter that I can't muster enough care about it to do anything differently.
I did do a massive clear out of my subscriber list about 4-5 weeks ago. First time I've done that. I unsubscribed about 100 people who never open anything. And it was stress-inducing, even if it was in pursuit of improving my open rate, which is really the only number I pay much attention to. But in the ensuing weeks I've gotten enough new subscribers to replace half of those I eliminated, so I've decided not to worry about it. I can only be the one that I am. People either find me and like me without me tying myself in awkward knots that kill my joy or they don't.
For what it's worth, I came to Substack with the exact same posture. For me, it was rebellious and even felt a little dangerous to JUST PLAY with my writing and reading things I couldn't get enough of. But I also knew what happened to me if I fell in line with the same old beliefs (a writer should be on social media! they should be social! they should be bubbly and share all the time!) that resulted in both my writing and body being neglected for years.
I don't know ... there's something potent about resisting the organized promotion of your work. At least, it feels potent to me. It feels like an engine of some sort that is humming for you and your writing and it should keep on, keepin' on...
I think why I'm writing for my paying folks for the next year about ambition is because it feels so potent to resist and I suspect there's something in there, for me at least, that is either a little self-sabotaging or a little unnecessarily rebellious. As in, no one is actually telling me what to do and I don't need to thumb my nose entirely at self-promotion. I just have to find a way to approach it that feels authentic. And then thumb my nose at everything that isn't that, since I clearly need to direct that energy somewhere. :P I can't seem to get rid of it.
You are doing exceptional work here Amanda, not only with your writing but in teaching us how to be a better human.
I am currently working on a series about creating change in our life, a move toward wholeness, and your words about elevating your energy and paying attention to what is depleting you are the foundation of change. The other piece is to be clear on what a good day looks like. You are doing all of this and more!
Again, I read through all of the comments and enjoyed the insightful take on writing everyone has to offer. I look at my numbers, but now, I don't really pay as much attention to them that I did when I first started. I think I come and browse through Notes as a distraction. It takes me away from whatever I'm working on, and helps me to relax. I picked up three new subscribers today. I had one yesterday. But it's been slow and erratic. That used to bother me. But then, I go to the subscriber page and count how many have subscribed to my page from the first of the month. I've picked up 26 this month. I have to remind myself, that's almost one a day and I have no right to complain about that.
I don't post something and expect I'm going to get three or four subscribers the first day it's up. It usually takes a day or three. My last post (THE DAWN PATROL) went up on Sunday. It's Tuesday. Like I said, 3 today and 1 yesterday. So now I'm sitting at 349. I can't complain about that. My goal was to hit 500 by the end of the year. I'm probably NOT going to reach that. But even having missed it, I might still reach 400. When I DO get depressed about my numbers, I put my graph up. I hit ALL SUBSCRIBERS and ALL TIME, because it's a steady line going up. There's no flat curve. It's inspiring to me. It shows a steady growth that's something I can SEE. I don't market myself properly. I put my story up on my 'Stack, and then forget to put it on my Facebook link, my LinkedIn link, I don't even bother with Instagram because I don't know how to post on it. Same with Pinterest. So my stuff goes up here, most of my marketing is through Notes. I used to look at those lists people put up about the names of writers and 'Stacks people read, and would NEVER see my name on them. That was depressing. I used to think, no one wants to read my stuff...and then I'd read the comments people left me and I'd feel better about myself.
I say all of that because I'm just as unsure of myself as the next person. That's why I never tried to push myself when I was younger. I never thought I was any good. But once I started putting my stuff up on here, my whole idea about myself changed. People WANT to read my stuff. People WANT to hear me read it out. I'd like it if more if those who "Follow" me would convert to Subscribers, but hey, baby-steps, right?
I'm nervous about my next post, but not in a bad way. (And I'm certainly not feeling neurotic about it.) But I've decided I'm going to put my next serial novel up behind the paywall. I took down the one I was writing before (it's not finished yet) so that I could put this up "just to see if people will go PAID." I guess you could say it's an experiment. I don't expect to get hundreds of paid subscribers, but I only have 9. I'll put the first 5 chapters up for free and hope I can hook people with that before I do go PAID. And once the New Year starts, I'll put the other story back up and leave that one free, one on, one off. But you have to change things up to keep yourself from getting bored. If you get bored, the reader will get bored, too. I'm hoping the people who didn't want to read my "King Arthur" tale, will like my anti-hero.
This was a terrific post that really resonated with me, so thank you for writing and sharing it. Obviously, it speaks to many of us.
I have two 'Stacks, and lately I've realized that the first one (which has more subscribers) no longer excites me. It no longer "cranks my tractor" as a close friend puts it. But my fantasy Substack (which is free and has maybe 33 subscribers) feels more like I'm sitting with friends and saying, "Hey check this out, did you know this?" I'm excited about every long-form post I write, and every short "Fantasy Friday chat" topic I put out, the memes, the quotes...all of it. It's more fun, and a little less niche
Your post feels like permission to set the one aside that feels like work. The one that stresses me out and makes me pull the covers over my head.
Question is, do I shelve that one, end it, put in hiatus until whenever? What do we do with 'Stacks that no longer bring us joy?
Carolyn, this is a great question! It's a little tough to diagnose without broader context and knowing more about your writing, but hopefully I can share a few ideas to help with this wayfinding. Because I definitely have a LOT of mileage on the thrill being gone around a topic (or project or job...).
First, I would definitely try giving yourself permission to take a month off the main substack and treat it as if it's gone. What happens with it theoretically out of view? Do you find topics that fall back inside that newsletter that are interesting/intriguing?
Second, what is it about the new newsletter that is different or intriguing? Is it connected to a time of your life that's unexplored? Are you using different kinds of formats that are more enjoyable/creative?
I think what I want most for you is to maybe find some way to meld the two Substacks so all your readers have a chance to experience the different types of writing you enjoy. The writing that comes from a spark may appeal to more readers than you realize! If I can be of any more help, please let me know. Cheering you on!
Love the concept of a ripcord!
I don’t struggle with the metrics so much but I struggle with the cumulative effects of writing on public during incredibly tumultuous times. I love giving myself permission to change and pivot and take care of myself first. Thank you for this series!
I’ve been sending a lot of people your recent interview about trauma, activism, and emotional resilience. I loved it so much and think it’s tremendously important and am grateful for your work and the self-care that makes it possible. 🧡
This is vital. I write about politics (among other things,) and I have an article I've had to set aside for a while, because it's just too much for me right now.
What sorts of cumulative effects? Do you mean, like, trolls and unhelpful comments? Or more like the collective stress of everyday life combined with writing about it creates something heavier, harder to manage?
Both! The amount of pushback and vitriol continues to grow (and compound!) and in both religious and activist spaces there is a lot of pressure to KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT because “the work” is so vital and I slowly learned to override my own nervous system. Plus also I am a very earnest writer and kept getting pummeled by bad faith folks who just wanted to argue/criticize me in order to shut me down or make themselves feel better.
That "keep going no matter what" energy shows up in a lot of spaces and it's toxic. Such a damaging message, and I can't help but think it was also used in evangelical spaces to keep congregants from noticing shady shit going on on the side. Sigh. I'm sorry you experience this in an ongoing way. :/ I remember years ago reading something where the basic gist was, "Your body's only job is to be on your side," and it was a huge light bulb moment. Her only allegiance is to ME? And not the crowds, the powerful people, the rich people, the spiritual people? So I can TRUST all the spidey senses and inputs she's gathering? It was a staggering revelation, and made me think this is why evangelical circles don't like women doing yoga or having body empowerment—they might feel and trust their pain inside church and get tf out!
🤯🤯🤯
I'm almost exactly the same as you. If I went busy of off sales, I would have quit all of my sidelines YEARS ago.
Instead, I make and we're and sell what gives me joy. The sales are a nice bonus. Would I like more? Of course! Who wouldn't?
Thank you for this. I'm going to go back and read part 1, and I look forward to part 3!
*if I went solely off of sales
Thank you for saying all of these things and saying them so well! Years ago, I read an interview with Roxane Gay in Creative Nonfiction magazine. It was right after she became very well-known as a writer. She described how much work she does speaking, teaching, and writing, and said something in it about how (paraphrasing), no, writing didn’t give her much joy anymore. Part of it was how much and how hard she was working.
This was when I was still on Facebook and involved in Binders Full of Women Writers, which I have to say was tremendously supportive at the time (it might still be but I deleted my FB account in 2017). But I also saw increasing amounts of hustle for tiny amounts of pay, and often none at all.
When I read that from Gay it was really sobering because I’d been writing just long enough to know how little it paid. And I thought: it doesn’t pay enough, and probably will never pay enough, to make it worth losing the joy of it. That completely changed whatever writing goals I thought I had. It’s why I kept copy editing as my other job: nothing I could make from writing would ever be worth having to hustle so much that the joy was gone.
There's a lot of implied servitude for authors who are plucked from the crowd to be traditionally published. Like we should say thank you for helping them make money, somehow.
I've read enough stories of writers who were worked to death when their first book was published to know that I don't have what it takes to appease the demands of any publisher. Maybe if I have enough clout one day, a publisher would be willing to work with the bandwidth I have to offer, but I'm not holding my breath. When I still had active social media accounts, I did always enjoy when Anne Lamott would post something and call her publisher a "rascally rabbit." I feel like she keeps the relationship boundaries clear, which is such a gift!
Were you run ragged when your book was published? Did knowing Roxane Gay's experience help prepare you or help you have better boundaries with the publisher's requests?
These are all such great questions and, hm, a great idea for a roundtable conversation for you!
One of my mentors is a longtime internationally bestselling author. He and his publisher parted ways a couple books ago for exactly this reason. “Bestselling” doesn’t mean what most people think it does, and certainly not always what publishers have come to demand.
I probably would have been run ragged if I’d had the kinds of connections and platforms to do it. I believed in that book—still do!—and would have done whatever I could to promote it. I worked *very* hard at all the things authors are expected to these days, but I didn’t have the kinds of connections to kick it all up another tier. One of my good friends published her first book this year and truly has been run ragged. It’s been awful to see her publisher’s expectations combined with their complete lack of support.
My book also got caught up in industry consolidation. It was published by Da Capo Press, which was acquired by Hachette somewhere during my writing. And then just before it went to print, my entire PR and marketing team—who really seemed to understand what I was trying to do and how to market it—was laid off. The new team was good, truly, but I never felt like they “got” it enough to sell it well. And marketing is not my experise!
Also, “implied servitude” is 100%. Luke O’Neill, who writes Welcome to Hell World on Ghost, has written about this recently. Not about book publishers, but about what magazine and newspaper publishers can expect of freelancers.
“And I thought: it doesn’t pay enough, and probably will never pay enough, to make it worth losing the joy of it. That completely changed whatever writing goals I thought I had.”
Ooh, thanks for sharing this perspective. I think this is something that will stay with me
Glad to share! And I hope it doesn’t sound pessimistic. I know a lot of people are making decent money on Substack in particular right now, and I definitely am making more than I thought I would here. But that can always change and keeping the joy at the center is a way for me to keep my compass pointing to that truth north. I only glance at subscriber numbers, never look at how many churn in or out, and write what feels most true to me in the best possible way I can.
Lol I sometimes forget I have such a pessimistic soul that I can only find encouragement in “pessimistic” comments--I actually found it genuinely encouraging 😂 (seriously though, I was recently trying to break up my writing about fear and death and loneliness with something “lighter,” and the only idea I came up with was to write about Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower.” Then I was like ok nevermind).
OMG Parable is my go-to when I have a panic about climate change and societal collapse. 🫠
There is a type of brain, often trauma-brain though I’m making no assumptions here, that has been found to relax *more* when considering worst-case scenarios. I’m definitely one of those.
Love this 😂
😂
😅
It's a lot to balance the writing and the marketing. I go in spurts with a little extra marketing and then I wonder, why did I do that?
I relate to this! When I needed lots and lots of space from marketing my work, I would dip my toe into the waters of sharing my writing and then jump right out! But I ultimately found these efforts sent the wrong message to me about the merit of what I was writing. I needed to share my writing in a small, consistent, direct way for two or three months in order to really get a sense of what was happening with my writing once it was handed over to readers. Too sporadic and the "data" really couldn't inform me. Is there one small thing you could do in your essays to market or measure what's working/resounding with your readers?
I love how you generate conversations with your questions in the comments. That’s a “one small thing” a lot of us could learn from! It’s both inviting and generous.
Amanda's questions are amazing
I'm a fan!
I post shorter pieces on a regular basis and work on engagement in the comments. I'm seeing fairly steady organic growth which is wonderful and helpful. Next year I have plans to try out some different types of essays and see where that goes.
I struggle with my posts-in-progress. My most important metric is whether i feel good about what I'm writing. That's become the main if not the only source of my writing-related stress.
Trying to get one post ahead, but it's a struggle.
This is a wonderful reminder! I have trouble thinking about the joy in writing when I’m stalled on a post, but when I find my groove with a piece and love the writing process, I always close that work thinking “my job is to make it always feel like this.” Now to figuring out how on earth to do that... 😅
David, I’m a new reader, if that helps, and I’m really enjoying your writing!
This is a tough area. I'm a data guy, so it's easy to become metrics obsessed. Fortunately, a lifetime in data has taught me to see the limitations in any metric and that helps be step back from the brink.
For example, yesterday was not a good day. I put a post up which picked up a couple of comments, but no new subscribers. I'd have done a better job of being OK with that if I hadn't three away from a round number! And then of course I was mad at myself for obsessing over an artifact of our numbering system. I should know better!
Today is a good day. I picked up the three subscribers, yes, and, much more importantly, two of them engaged with the piece and write about similar issues. That does indeed recenter me. It reminds me why I'm here, which is to get my ideas into the world, build community, and learn from others with similar interests. So very much a "felt sense of satisfaction" day.
But that dopamine...
It’s a never-ending struggle, isn’t it? I love what you do on your Substack. You often have research I haven’t seen, and frequently shift my perspective on issues of the commons and pollution and commodity in ways that I didn’t expect.
Thank you, Nia, and right back at you. The conversations we have, often in other people's comment sections (sorry Amanda, you're the host today!) are part of what I love most about this platform, and about choosing writing as a way to put myself out there.
Yeah, well. I have no other social media so Substack is my online coffee shop! And like my real-life coffee shop, I end up having a lot of different conversations when running into friends having meetings or working at other tables. 🤗
I set ten minute timers on FB and IG. Most days I don't trigger them, because I'm over here!
Where the water is fine!
and we're working to keep it that way!
Amanda - really enjoying this series so thank you first of all. Personally I turned off a lot of the subscriber notifications because it was a lot of noise for me. I don't necessarily want to write just to get an audience because then I feel it isn't genuine. I am speaking solely about my personal experience, not questioning anyone else's ideas of how they write or run a business. I try not to look at my subscriber count except maybe once a week. But I love the idea of reviewing those names and being grateful for them. I don't recall where I saw it but something I read recently talked about how it is ok to lose some subscribers. You don't have to write for everyone. And not everyone will love what you write. That is perfectly ok. Finding your core audience and resonating with them will result in healthy growth and with a group more likely to engage with your content. I am brand new here so I am still very much in the learning phase. I have a lot of growing to do as a writer but I am invested in the process and in the community of people. Keep writing and sharing. I believe the readers will follow.
I can't quite make myself care about the metrics, or not enough to have it change my writing behavior, and I feel a little guilty about it most of the time. Because it feels like it speaks to my general lack of "ambition." Like, if I really believed in what I was doing then I would be willing to do anything and everything to make my audience grow. But the reality is that my ambition is primarily to write well, to the best of my ability, and to have other writers appreciate my work. Neither of those things has anything to do with metrics, so perhaps it doesn't matter that I can't muster enough care about it to do anything differently.
I did do a massive clear out of my subscriber list about 4-5 weeks ago. First time I've done that. I unsubscribed about 100 people who never open anything. And it was stress-inducing, even if it was in pursuit of improving my open rate, which is really the only number I pay much attention to. But in the ensuing weeks I've gotten enough new subscribers to replace half of those I eliminated, so I've decided not to worry about it. I can only be the one that I am. People either find me and like me without me tying myself in awkward knots that kill my joy or they don't.
For what it's worth, I came to Substack with the exact same posture. For me, it was rebellious and even felt a little dangerous to JUST PLAY with my writing and reading things I couldn't get enough of. But I also knew what happened to me if I fell in line with the same old beliefs (a writer should be on social media! they should be social! they should be bubbly and share all the time!) that resulted in both my writing and body being neglected for years.
I don't know ... there's something potent about resisting the organized promotion of your work. At least, it feels potent to me. It feels like an engine of some sort that is humming for you and your writing and it should keep on, keepin' on...
I think why I'm writing for my paying folks for the next year about ambition is because it feels so potent to resist and I suspect there's something in there, for me at least, that is either a little self-sabotaging or a little unnecessarily rebellious. As in, no one is actually telling me what to do and I don't need to thumb my nose entirely at self-promotion. I just have to find a way to approach it that feels authentic. And then thumb my nose at everything that isn't that, since I clearly need to direct that energy somewhere. :P I can't seem to get rid of it.
These posts have inspired me to pull the rip cod and focus on writing today. Thx!
yessss!!
You are doing exceptional work here Amanda, not only with your writing but in teaching us how to be a better human.
I am currently working on a series about creating change in our life, a move toward wholeness, and your words about elevating your energy and paying attention to what is depleting you are the foundation of change. The other piece is to be clear on what a good day looks like. You are doing all of this and more!
This has been an insightful series, I can't wait for part III. Reading through the list of names sounds like a great idea.
Again, I read through all of the comments and enjoyed the insightful take on writing everyone has to offer. I look at my numbers, but now, I don't really pay as much attention to them that I did when I first started. I think I come and browse through Notes as a distraction. It takes me away from whatever I'm working on, and helps me to relax. I picked up three new subscribers today. I had one yesterday. But it's been slow and erratic. That used to bother me. But then, I go to the subscriber page and count how many have subscribed to my page from the first of the month. I've picked up 26 this month. I have to remind myself, that's almost one a day and I have no right to complain about that.
I don't post something and expect I'm going to get three or four subscribers the first day it's up. It usually takes a day or three. My last post (THE DAWN PATROL) went up on Sunday. It's Tuesday. Like I said, 3 today and 1 yesterday. So now I'm sitting at 349. I can't complain about that. My goal was to hit 500 by the end of the year. I'm probably NOT going to reach that. But even having missed it, I might still reach 400. When I DO get depressed about my numbers, I put my graph up. I hit ALL SUBSCRIBERS and ALL TIME, because it's a steady line going up. There's no flat curve. It's inspiring to me. It shows a steady growth that's something I can SEE. I don't market myself properly. I put my story up on my 'Stack, and then forget to put it on my Facebook link, my LinkedIn link, I don't even bother with Instagram because I don't know how to post on it. Same with Pinterest. So my stuff goes up here, most of my marketing is through Notes. I used to look at those lists people put up about the names of writers and 'Stacks people read, and would NEVER see my name on them. That was depressing. I used to think, no one wants to read my stuff...and then I'd read the comments people left me and I'd feel better about myself.
I say all of that because I'm just as unsure of myself as the next person. That's why I never tried to push myself when I was younger. I never thought I was any good. But once I started putting my stuff up on here, my whole idea about myself changed. People WANT to read my stuff. People WANT to hear me read it out. I'd like it if more if those who "Follow" me would convert to Subscribers, but hey, baby-steps, right?
I'm nervous about my next post, but not in a bad way. (And I'm certainly not feeling neurotic about it.) But I've decided I'm going to put my next serial novel up behind the paywall. I took down the one I was writing before (it's not finished yet) so that I could put this up "just to see if people will go PAID." I guess you could say it's an experiment. I don't expect to get hundreds of paid subscribers, but I only have 9. I'll put the first 5 chapters up for free and hope I can hook people with that before I do go PAID. And once the New Year starts, I'll put the other story back up and leave that one free, one on, one off. But you have to change things up to keep yourself from getting bored. If you get bored, the reader will get bored, too. I'm hoping the people who didn't want to read my "King Arthur" tale, will like my anti-hero.
This was a terrific post that really resonated with me, so thank you for writing and sharing it. Obviously, it speaks to many of us.
I have two 'Stacks, and lately I've realized that the first one (which has more subscribers) no longer excites me. It no longer "cranks my tractor" as a close friend puts it. But my fantasy Substack (which is free and has maybe 33 subscribers) feels more like I'm sitting with friends and saying, "Hey check this out, did you know this?" I'm excited about every long-form post I write, and every short "Fantasy Friday chat" topic I put out, the memes, the quotes...all of it. It's more fun, and a little less niche
Your post feels like permission to set the one aside that feels like work. The one that stresses me out and makes me pull the covers over my head.
Question is, do I shelve that one, end it, put in hiatus until whenever? What do we do with 'Stacks that no longer bring us joy?
Carolyn, this is a great question! It's a little tough to diagnose without broader context and knowing more about your writing, but hopefully I can share a few ideas to help with this wayfinding. Because I definitely have a LOT of mileage on the thrill being gone around a topic (or project or job...).
First, I would definitely try giving yourself permission to take a month off the main substack and treat it as if it's gone. What happens with it theoretically out of view? Do you find topics that fall back inside that newsletter that are interesting/intriguing?
Second, what is it about the new newsletter that is different or intriguing? Is it connected to a time of your life that's unexplored? Are you using different kinds of formats that are more enjoyable/creative?
I think what I want most for you is to maybe find some way to meld the two Substacks so all your readers have a chance to experience the different types of writing you enjoy. The writing that comes from a spark may appeal to more readers than you realize! If I can be of any more help, please let me know. Cheering you on!
Another great post and another brilliant discussion in the comments. Thank you!
Thanks Debbie!