29 Comments

This was so much fun and I'm so honoured to have been included in Amanda's Cave of the Heart series!

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I love the section where you talked about your mom 💓 she sounds like a treasure!

And I relate to the grabbing ideas in Notes when they strike! I will forget them so fast if I don’t just grab them. Then I open up my note when I sit down to write my first draft and I have a huge list of bits and bobs to string together.

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Yes! Exactly about the bits and bobs! It's the only way in my overstretched brain with the way our life is now.

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I loved this interview and the idea that your mom was gardening in Ottawa before it was trendy!

I had similar difficulties writing and reading when my kids were small (and my eldest who is 15 still doesn’t sleep 😂). I love how you gave yourself permission and that your kids are cheering you on now. Mine are too!

I can’t wait to read more of what you’ve written Noha!

This interview series is truly one of my favourite things here, thank you Amanda.

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Thank you so much, Wake! My mom did so many things and we'd kind of go, "oh that's just mama," and then 5 or 10 years later it would be THE thing 🤣🤣

At some point we just learned that if she's on to it, it's coming lol.

OMG re your eldest... At least now you don't have to stay awake when they're awake? Or do you 🤪

Giving myself permission was the only way to get through it, honestly. I wasn't writing either way, but one way I could feel like garbage and shame myself, and the other way I was getting through those tough, sleepless early years.

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I love that your mom was on the cutting edge! It also is so evident what an influence she was to you and I love the way you wrote about your relationship.

(I used to call my parents daily when I moved out at 18 and am so grateful they continued to endow me with their hilarious wisdom)

As for my 15 year old, he managed on his own. He’s an independent lad with a swapped schedule, and a love of minor cooking and baking. He makes his own food, does his own laundry, and it’s kind of like living with a cheerful ghost. He loves the quiet and is happiest when there are no people around.

But if he needs a chat, he finds me and chatters happily until he fills his social metre.

My youngest is our darling chatterbox, and I adore him too. I love how different people can be, and I’m so glad that your family never told you that you talked too much. I wish the world would stop telling people they are too much or too little.

Thank you again for sharing your story, it was wonderful to read your answers.

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Great interview! Nice to learn more about you, Noha!

I didn't get told I talked too much as a kid, but I did get told over and over again that I was too loud. I still get that sometimes. What can I say? I just have a voice that carries. Also, I was a theater kid before every school had mics that kids could wear. So, I got trained to project to the back of the theater very early. But it definitely made me feel awful when I was a kid whenever someone would say it, like I was taking up too much space, especially for a girl. I couldn't change the voice I had, so I just stopped talking a lot of the time.

I'm glad you've embraced your talkativeness, Noha. Here's to women taking up space!

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Oh Asha, that breaks my heart! I hope you've reclaimed it now.

I lost my voice for about 10 days and just got it back but it's still pretty wobbly. And honestly? I missed it so much! I can't wait to have a voice that carries again.

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Mostly, I have. My kids sometimes give me a hard time about it, but that's because they're teenagers and they have to give me a hard time about something. ;) Very occasionally I hear about it at work because my desk is in a public space, but mostly folks acknowledge they can close their doors if they don't want to occasionally overhear me answering the phone. At least they *have* office doors.

And I don't date people anymore who give me a hard time about anything, including my voice. I am too old to put up with that sort of thing.

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Yes to the last part!! Know your worth. Why be with someone who doesn't like you? What even is the point?

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Noah! I loved to know who you are and more so, because you shared so much about your mom MashaAllah- that I wanted to be that mom to my children. I have been trying to find some balance with my 6 and 4 year old and I happen to criticize myself a lot too for lack of showing up for my aspirations (writing, art, illustration) but reading your journey looks like, I can take it slow too! Thank you! Love your work (and your words!)

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Sorry, my phone keeps changing Noha to Noah despite my efforts to correct it. This time I don't know how sneaky my phone was! My apologies.

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Ayesha, please don't worry about the phone. Any time I get a new phone it does the same thing to me (the audacity lol!)

Don't worry about the writing - it will come! and you're in the thick of it with your babies. 6 and 4 is quite the busy age. Last night, I reminded my boys, who are 10 and 13 now, about one time I scolded the older one for being mean to his little brother, and then he burst into tears and said, "you hurt my feelings" and suddenly I had two crying babies instead of one lol 🤦🏽‍♀️

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I loved learning about Noha and her inspiring mother. What a beautiful tribute to who you became as a writer and creator, Noha!! Thanks for writing this piece Amanda.

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Thank you so much, Sadia.

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A beautiful, beautiful interview. Thank you, both! Noha, it's wonderful how you talk about your mother. Having lived in Egypt, I have a maybe a glimpse of what she is like. I met some amazing and empowered women in that beautiful country.

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Jeffrey, I feel like there's aspects of it you would understand better than I would. My exposure to Egypt is very specific, and I was always so young. I really want to go back now that I'm older and explore it today, as a full adult.

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Insha'Allah!

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Thank you Noha and Amanda for this amazing interview.

Like many others here in the comments one of my favourite parts is about your Mom. I am imagining the ripple effect she has had on the world, both in your family and her entire circle, and am very inspired.

My heart yearned for this kind of a relationship with my Mom. She has passed on now and I am healing myself, and our bond that transcends time. I know she did the best she could and will work to accept that we were simply very different.

I hope it’s warming up in Ottawa! We are heading into a little cold snap here in BC.

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Donna, thank you so much for sharing this about your own mother and your relationship. I do realize that my mother is a special person, and I'm so blessed to have had her.

it's definitely warming up - it's a little chilly this last week, but compared to our normal weather this time of year it's positively balmy.

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I really enjoyed your answers. Your mom sounds incredible.

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Thanks Amy, she's an absolute blessing and I'm so grateful.

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Really enjoyed reading this. I was the opposite of a chatterbox as a child (and was praised for being so quiet and convenient) and also find it validating to use my voice now (in writing. i still don't like to talk :))

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Oh my God Tanya, I'm suddenly remembering the scene in "Arrested Development" where the youngest kid is sent to a school for children that should be neither seen nor heard 😅😅😅

I'm so glad you're finding your voice in writing now. It doesn't need to be talking.

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So true! We need to learn to be comfortably ourselves in whatever way feels right.

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I'm late to this party but I'm over here joyously applauding. I love both of your writing so much and this collab felt so aligned and just plain great. Thank you Noha for the honesty and love you put into your words, and to you Amanda for the same care and intention in this series. <3<3

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Thanks so much, Emmy! And I'm so grateful to Amanda for asking me to be part of this.

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Thank you Noha and Amanda for another juicy Cave of the Heart read ❤️

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Thanks, Michelle!

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