On writing and returning to what has always made sense
Dana Miranda joins Cave of the Heart and answers 6 questions about self-trust
Coming soon to Cave of the Heart, Buddhist teacher and writer, Susan Piver will be diving into the craft of writing, accepting waymaking in life precisely as you are and more. Susan joins other creatives like Substack's No. 1 food writer Caroline Chambers, Jessica DeFino, “the woman the beauty industry fears the most” and humorist Michael Estrin. Don’t miss the chance to chat in the comments every Monday with these and other amazing writers.
Welcome to Cave of the Heart, an interview series where writers trust-fall into the depths of inner-knowing, creativity, and the craft of writing. Are you ready to get curious about the cultivation of self-trust, give a warm nod to our child selves, and celebrate inspiration in all forms? Come with us into the cave of the heart.
Describe the setting where you’re answering these questions.
I’m in my den, which is the everything room in my house. It’s supposed to be a bedroom and has a big closet carved out of one wall, so I turned that nook into my office space. I confess I’m not actually sitting at this desk to write this; that hurts my body too much. I’m on the couch right next to it, but that would be an ugly picture of just a plain brown couch. I love my office nook, because it’s the place in the house I share with my partner that is only mine, and I get to deck it out with my eclectic combination of business and finance books, organizational accessories and lots of rainbow-y, fluffy stuff that reminds me of my inner child.
Childhood
Q: Were you a chatterbox as a child, or were you quiet or something else entirely? When you spoke up or expressed a preference, what sort of response did you get?
A: I was a bit of both. I preferred being inside and reading or writing in my journal to being outside or moving a lot, and I was introspective. But I’ve always loved conversation, and my parents always have, too. We always talked over dinner — nothing deep or sociological or anything, but lightly psychoanalytical questions like what would you choose for your last meal? — and I liked sitting in on the conversations between my parents and grandparents at Sunday lunch after church.
I wasn’t encouraged to express preferences, though. My stepdad carried a belief from his childhood that “children should be seen and not heard” (I swear he’s not 100 years old). My mom appreciated my independent spirit but didn’t know what to do with it (she had me when she was 22, I can’t even imagine?). So my mom and I argued a lot, even when I was very young, and it took until my mid-20s before we developed a mutual understanding of each other.
Influences
Q: How do you recognize when someone or something is a positive influence on your writing process and self-trust? What changes inside you and on the page?
A: I always appreciate when an editor or a reader asks a question I hadn’t considered. The best people do it in a way that encourages deeper thought or a new perspective that builds on what I’ve said without suggesting my original thinking was wrong. I absolutely love someone who complicates my thinking and pushes me to learn something new through writing. Good questions turn the process of writing from a solitary brain dump into a mind-melding conversation between the reader and me. It enriches the experience I have as a writer and gives me new knowledge and skills to take with me.
When I have this kind of conversation with an editor especially, I can viscerally feel the shift in the writing. It’s like the information is on puzzle pieces floating in front of me, and answering their questions shuffles them around until they click into place — and then there’s a glowing light around the finished puzzle and a distant choir of angels for good measure.
Creative Spark
Q: What was the last creative spark that you were really excited about, but it ultimately fizzled out? What do you do when something doesn’t come to life like you’d imagined?
A: Oof! So many experiences with this! Most recently… I initially envisioned Healthy Rich as a consulting company for financial educators, coaches and advisors. I thrive in the scheming phase of a business, where I’m defining an audience and a value proposition, outlining service packages, and laying out a website. I get to develop this whole story about what the business will be and how it’ll help people. I used to feel like a failure whenever I wouldn’t follow through with a business idea, but I realized years ago that envisioning business models is a fine creative hobby that stimulates my strengths, and I don’t have to treat every idea like an actual plan for the future.
Going through the motions also helps me cull what’s not working and discover what I want to keep pursuing. With Healthy Rich, I realized I didn’t want to spend my days pounding the pavement to convince financial educators to add an anti-capitalist perspective to their curriculum. But people were responding to the content I was writing to market the business and I loved having space for self-expression within the personal finance niche, so I realized I needed to return to what has always made sense for me: writing. And I brought the content to Substack and made the newsletter the whole business.
Writing Process
Q: Were there any habits or beliefs that you had to let go of in order to more deeply trust your writing process?
A: To become someone who could trust myself, I had to let go of striving for guaranteed outcomes. I have a habit of being afraid to execute on great ideas (see aforementioned business scheming) because I want to plot out every step and know that my effort will yield the outcome I want. Obviously that’s not possible with anything, so I just haven’t executed on most things.
When I started building Healthy Rich, even before I knew the direction I’d take it, I committed to the idea in a way I hadn’t done before. I decided this was an important idea, and I needed to give it a chance to grow. It took about a year and a half to feel like that was happening at all, and I’m certain that it’s working now because I was willing to trust that my idea mattered and give it the space it needed to become what I needed it to be. When I decided all I needed to do was write about money in this newsletter every week, all the striving for an outcome stopped, and I was able to go with the flow. That makes it much simpler to get a post on the page, because I don’t put any expectations on it; I just make it because it feels like it needs to be made.
Resources
Q: What’s your favorite quote on writing?
A: Anais Nin: “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” This touches every part of my experience as a writer with autism who often has a richer experience of a moment as I’m reflecting and writing about it than I could have ever had in the moment.
Neurodiversity
Q: Did being diagnosed neurodivergent affect how you see or interact with your writing life?
A: I self-diagnosed with autism maybe two years ago, but I continued to struggle with the label because I don’t fit the picture of autism that’s popular in our culture. As an example: I didn’t think I had special interests the way they’re described — which is usually something like a young boy who’s obsessed with bugs or trains. Once I embraced the identity and started consuming more autistic culture media, I started to understand how special interests can look across more diverse experiences. I realized my special interest has always been rhetoric — writing, conversation, argument, how words are used. Naming that — very recently! — has helped me put a rhetorical lens on everything I take on. It helps me see my writing skill as a strength I can use in any situation, which makes me a lot more comfortable getting out of my comfort zone and gives me a way to always feel powerful and useful.
Join Dana in the comments
What experience do you have with “striving for an outcome” in your writing practice? Are there any practices or tools you use to help create more space around that striving?
When it came to the evolution of her newsletter, Healthy Rich, Dana says she had to be “willing to trust that my idea mattered” in order for it to become what it needed to be. How is your writing practice today? Is there an idea for your newsletter you’d like feedback or encouragement around?
Thank you Dana for this lovely image! This is a perfect way to describe working with a good editor: “I can viscerally feel the shift in the writing. It’s like the information is on puzzle pieces floating in front of me, and answering their questions shuffles them around until they click into place.”
I love love this quote by Anais Nin: “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” Thank you for sharing this and everything else!