"Like My Mind Was Split in Two": Finding the Balance Between Creativity and Growth on Substack

Feeling torn between creating freely and the pressure to grow my audience, I hit a wall and here’s how I found a way forward

Earlier this spring, I found myself in a quiet battle every time I sat down to work on my newsletter.

It started as a small feeling — a flicker of restlessness, a sense of division inside me. But soon enough, it grew. There I was, staring at my screen, feeling like my mind was split in two, as if one side of me was anchored in daylight, while the other lingered in the night. It wasn’t a struggle between a good idea and a distraction; it was a pull between two visions, two voices, both good but conflicting in ways that left me unsure of my next steps.

I knew I wanted to stay true to my creative instincts, letting intuition guide my words. But as the days went by, I couldn’t ignore the pressure creeping in from the numbers, the metrics, the sign-ups and the dollars I was spending.

It felt like each piece I wrote carried the weight of two different missions: one to express myself and my perspectives, and the other to grow my audience and make my work sustainable. I’d been watching the numbers, counting the hours I was pouring into my newsletter every week and feeling that familiar sense (from other business ventures) that it would soon be time to pivot.

Understanding the Difference: Creative Blocks vs. Vehicle Blocks

That’s when I started to wonder if I was dealing with more than just a creative block. Maybe I had a vehicle block too — something in the structure of my newsletter, in the way I was trying to reach others, that needed a change. I was beginning to feel torn, worried that acknowledging the practical side of my needs would mean betraying my creativity. Maybe you’ve felt something like this before? That tension between expressing your truest self and also wondering if that’s enough to pay the bills?

This tension, between creativity and forward motion, is what I call the difference between a creative block and a vehicle block. And they’re both so common, yet so different in the way they need to be cared for. Let me explain…

Creative Blocks: When Words and Ideas Feel Out of Reach

A creative block has to do with the essence of writing — your flow, self-expression, the way words connect with readers. If you're facing a creative block, you might feel scattered or unsure about your voice, second-guessing each headline or phrase. Or feeling a surprising amount of fear in even publishing your work at all. It’s that restless feeling that maybe your words aren’t landing or that you’re missing some spark in your own process.

Vehicle Blocks: When the Newsletter Needs a Tune-Up

A vehicle block, on the other hand, is when your newsletter — or any vehicle that carries your voice to the world — needs a tune-up. Here, you might know exactly what you want to say and feel solid in your message (generally, speaking), but momentum is lacking. Maybe you’re seeing fewer sign-ups, engagement is dipping or upgrades aren’t happening the way you’d hoped. This usually isn’t a creative issue; it’s a sign the business of publishing a newsletter itself needs attention.

Facing My Own Vehicle Block

I tried looking for clues, for my own internal mile markers telling me if I’d been here before. I know from past experience that when I’m creatively blocked, my ambition also goes into lockdown. In this space, I don’t want to give my voice to the world. I want to hibernate. I am quite often angry at language itself. But this time, that didn’t seem quite like what was happening. I knew the words I was ready to give to the world. I just couldn’t see a way forward that didn’t implode all the momentum I had made in my newsletter. I felt stuck around the best path forward for my voice and my ideas that could also help me re-enter the workforce as a first-time mom.

Reconnecting with the Elements of Strategy

To help myself navigate this frustrating season — my own vehicle block — I decided to reach back and delicately re-examine all the tools I’d used in my marketing and strategy days. I began looking at some of the content audits and reader personas I’d designed, and I began testing the merits of these kinds of analyses in the world of Substack. Because even though I had a vehicle block, I was determined not to lose touch with the bountiful creativity and sense of connection I’d sustained on Substack.

With some time, some digging and testing a bit with Substack clients behind the scenes, I eventually put shape to the 5x5 Editorial Audit. Of course I didn’t call it that name until recently — I just knew what I was looking for in the data. And I had to go digging in a few different dashboards to find the reader behaviors that matter a lot when you’re landing in people’s inboxes. I tested the audit, refined it and finally found my open door. By looking intentionally at my newsletter and reader behaviors, I began piecing things together. I found my way forward.

Finding My Way Forward

Because of this audit, I was able to see the use case for launching a separate newsletter. I began to see what moved my readers to action in equal measure and from there, I then sketched out a few different paths to launching another newsletter. By looking at the data, I saw what kind of space I could create, and realized that this strategic decision would, in turn, help me get clearer on my own publishing rhythms inside The Editing Spectrum.

Through this process, I uncovered an approach that not only guided me forward but also provided clarity and confidence in structuring my work. This 5x5 Editorial Audit became my roadmap, a way to balance creative vision with strategic insight, and to make intentional choices around how I was going to lead my audience and shape the future of my work. Sitting down now to tell you about this process, I can say confidently that I had finally found a tool to address my vehicle block without abandoning my creative instincts.

Sharing the 5x5 Editorial Audit: An Invitation to You

After seeing how transformative this process was for me — and how well it’s worked for others I’ve coached on Substack — I decided it was time to share it more widely. I’m hosting a workshop, How to Audit Your Substack Data Like a Strategist, where I’ll walk you through the 5x5 Editorial Audit (plus a bonus “pricing gut check” query sequence).

This audit requires some data pulling (it’s not centralized in one spot on Substack) and some analysis and then it asks us to reflect, contemplate and look inward. It can help identify what’s resonating and then thoughtfully compare that with what your creativity and intuition are drawing you to create next.

Whether you’re wrestling with a creative block, a vehicle block or a bit of both, this workshop is designed to give you a holistic look at what’s moving your readers to action inside your newsletter. I’d love to have you join me as we dig into the data and find new ways to support your voice, your goals and your vision.

Note: Paid members, you have access to a coupon in the Spectrum Vault to register for $50 (expires Nov. 13).

Not sure if you have a creative or vehicle block?

Tell us a bit about where you’re at with your writing and newsletter — and I’ll be available to answer your questions in the comments.