Beloved care, beloved writing, beloved community
An update from the pediatric hospital, plus a few photos and what’s next
I shared this update on Notes earlier and wanted to be able to include a few more details with my paid members about why my publishing queue for February (and newly launched features for community connection) are a bit delayed.
Yesterday things escalated from a trip to Evagene’s doctor to urgent care to back home and back again — to yellow, brown and mustard-colored skin emerging on her face during bath time, while her neck muscles flattened in front of me.
The night would unfold with failed breathing treatments, sinking oxygen levels and firefighters lifting my little girl onto a gurney while she sat in her car seat. A sleepless night in the ICU filled with beeps and screams and terror slowly collapsing into exhausting sleeps, where we tucked in under a quilt donated to us. Today we’ve spent every ounce of energy trying to piece together the jigsaw puzzle of my daughter’s chest on a CT scan.
And all I can think about is how long it’s taken me to make peace with the nature of community and beloved care.
About how 20 years ago, I had everything stolen from me when I walked away from my church and I’ve been sunk under water trying to find a way to be held in times of trial without being punished for being human along the way.
And how the beloved care of writing in community with you is where I turned when the blaring lights of the ambulance drove up to drive my baby girl to the hospital in Ft Worth.
This realization brought me to my knees, in such gratitude that I am somewhat speechless. What a gift to belong and to know if I am in need of beloved care there are people who know that listening and offering the gift of words is the balm my heart needs most.
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If you are the vibe or meditating or praying or gathering type, I would relish your gift of attention tomorrow at 7:30am as our daughter Evagene undergoes surgery.
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