Advice for a Substack "About" page and more

See before-and-after edits on writing submitted from Ask an Editor readers

Last week’s Ask an Editor had such a wonderful, generous feeling in it. It was like one of those evenings where the food is just right and the company is at ease and talkative. 

Today’s post is a new feature for paid readers of The Editing Spectrum: twice a month I’ll choose a few writing samples from Ask an Editor and then provide a full developmental edit the following week. 

I think there’s something magical about looking at the “before” and “after” of writing, and hope you do, too. These posts are paywalled and offer hands-on editing advice to help everyone’s writing—not just the folks whose samples I choose to share. Here are a few ways to look at the edits below:

• Note the details I choose not to include. Sometimes more isn’t better—it’s just more.

• See how I add in paragraph breaks around tension. There are times when we want to build momentum—sentence, after sentence, after sentence—but if there is a shift in setting or scene, take the opportunity to give reader eyes a break. This is a common thing I edit for.

• See if you can find the “why” behind how certain information gets re-ordered. Ultimately, I’m trying to mine every first sentence for gold and reader connection. 

This week I chose to feature Kimia Dargahi’s writing, as well as

Emmeline Tyler

“About” page on Substack. I think there’s a lot for us to enjoy about their first drafts and also some real substance to work with. I share their “before” version and then an “after” with my edits … So let’s dive in!